I don't get it..are human minds really that fickle? is it true that once you have moved on, you won't look behind, not even to your friends? Are true friendship really impossible? It's unfair really. I don't care if you're old or young, stupid or brilliant. I just want a simple friendship from you. One that will never falter even when time flies rapidly. One that does not trash the other simply because he or she is already in the 'cool' gang. One that never backstabs...
I guess friends are truly fickle. You will never know when they will leave you depressed, or when will they knife your heart. It is possible that there is never a true friend around. Not here at least...
In less than two weeks, my birthday will arrive. But somehow, I feel more depressed at that thought rather than joyous. Why? It's because I have lost the meaning to celebrate it with a few of my good friends. Silly excuses crop up, and I even had to 'babysit' a friend's sister just to get her out. Pathetic, isn't it? Or perhaps it is just me. I'm that pathetic loser I suppose. All I want is a simple celebration with my friends, but I guess that's just a too tall order for them. Yeah, I suppose I'm making a mountain out of a molehill.I know..I know... But that is just me, easily hurt, easily angered, easily irritated. And totally vulnerable. I wish I was not born this way, and that I was as cold-hearted as the frozen ice and storm. At least that way, I don't give a damn on how people think about me, what I should do to please them, and be sensitive over my emotions at each underlying double-edged words spoken by them.
I really hate this. It's really making me feel as though I'm losing my control over my emotions. Or perhaps I already had...